Having prepared mentally, physically and mathematically for buffoonery, Melbourne-based Bits Akimbo are ready to amp up the nonsense.

With screwball skits, parody, musical interludes and what they describe as ultra-sexy physical comedy, the comedic trio have pulled out all the stops for Cool Show Sixty-Nine.

After a breakout season at Melbourne International Comedy Festival and Melbourne Fringe in 2022, they vowed to get weirder. But what does it actually mean?

Apparently two’s a party, three’s a crowd and 69 is just, well, cool. Greg McFerran does his best to find out more – if only the zany comedians would give him a straight answer.

Greg McFerran: For Seesaw Mag readers who don’t know you, can you tell us a bit about yourselves and your work?

Bits Akimbo: Bits Akimbo is ephemeral — it’s more the idea of a sketch group than anything you could concretely point to. We are Bits Akimbo. You are Bits Akimbo. Many have theorised that Bits Akimbo may not really exist at all.

Some say the real Bits Akimbo were the friends we made along the way. Others say it’s actually composed of three members — Max Paton, Katie Currie and Douglas Rintoul — who do high-energy sketch comedy and make absurd little jokes.

It’s us. We say that. People seem to like it! 

GM: Tell us about Cool Show Sixty Nine. 

BA: Cool Show Sixty-Nine is a labour of love, and by love we mean labour. We’ve filled it to the brim with screwball premises, musical interludes, whip-smart parody and ultra-sexy physical comedy.

It’s 50 minutes of high-octane nonsense for the whole family (ages 16 and up) to enjoy. So not the whole family at all actually. But probably most of the family! Depending on the make-up of your family. Like, If you’ve got eight or nine kids then it’s not actually for most of your family – but then you’ve got bigger problems pal. Like your grocery bill for one. For everyone else, you’re gonna love it. 

GM: Take us behind the scenes of your show – what happens during the rehearsal/creative process? 

BA: Usually what will happen is Doug will lie flat on his back, arms outstretched, and begin chanting to the comedy gods. Katie and Max will pour some sort of purified black liquid onto his belly in time with the chanting, and hold a pen to a blank piece of paper with their eyes closed. Then we take a break and grab some coffee at a local cafe. After that it’s back to the chanting and the black liquid.

At precisely 3pm, a cold wind rushes through the room letting us know to stop. This all results in an afternoon of good old-fashioned fun, after which we are always in a great mood to start working on comedy. 

GM: What do you hope audiences will take away from Cool Show Sixty Nine?

BA: Most people say they leave the show with a renewed sense of purpose in life — one audience member told us she had rediscovered a passion for knitting, another claimed his grandmother had come back to life and was asking to borrow money.

However, the thing we most want audiences to take away from the show is their personal belongings. There’s simply not enough space in the Jonesway Theatre for people to leave their phones, jackets, butlers, etc. long term, and our closets are quite small.

We’d also love it if people think it’s funny.

GM: What’s next for Bits Akimbo?

BA: Honestly, do any of us really know? Who can ever say what’s next on this crazy road we call life? We can, as we have been gifted the power of prophecy. It’s a new show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival called Get In The Boot. We’ve been toiling away on it for quite some time now and we’re very excited. Almost as excited as we are for what’s happening before that: Cool Show Sixty-Nine, performing 9th to 12th February at the Jonesway Theatre!  

Cool Show Sixty Nine is at The Jonesway Theatre, 9-12 February 2023

Pictured top: Bits Akimbo want to assure everyone that this is a rare silly photo of them. Photo supplied

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